sorry blog

Sorry,  I've been busy.  What?  No excuse you say?  I disagree.  When you have as much going on as I do the blog takes a backseat.  Especially if you don't have anything usefull to say.  Really, right now the only usefull thing I have to say is sorry.  With Breezy in school more or less fulltime and two little ones you gotta prioritize.  Things like shaving and sleeping go out the window along with vainly presuming that you care.  I also have a lot more responsibility at work now, which comes with perks.  For instance, I have a laptop now.  Not a big deal, I know.  It's great for me though because I no longer have to type up these posts on that smug a-hole, Macbook Pro.  That thing is condescending.  Why can't it be more like the blender, reassuring and friendly.

nice mustache!

Heres a nice mustache.  It looks a bit sketchy here,  but give it a chance.  

So I'm sure you all remember my back porch where I installed my recycling opus. It seems that a rather tenacious rat named Fred Scavage has moved in and become my new neighbor. Naturally since I live near the water I feared that he was a sea rat. This would of course be bad because sea rats are known for piracy. I feared for my Spanish dubloons and trinkets. Well by now I'm sure you've guessed how this story ends. Fred and I have an understanding about out garbage/compost situation. He keeps me on my toes, and vice versa. Oh man, Fred. He's a real S.O.B. He once ate a whole moldy cantaloupe, passed out in an unmarked box van, woke up in a soggy Parisian alleyway, robbed a mime for petty cash, bribed a harbormaster, stowed away on a Hungarian steamer out of Liverpool, only to arrive back at my back porch drunk on a mixture of cocaine and peach schnapps, asking me if he could borrow a gun. Ah Fred. One hell of a guy.

not really even a blog

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth."

Lenin 1870-1924

"If there is in fact a heaven and a hell, all we know for sure is that hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix..."

Hunter S. Thompson 1939-2005

"If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt."

Dean Martin 

"At any rate, I am convinced that He [God] doesn't play dice."

Albert Einstein 1879-1955

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels.  If a man should challenge me, i would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

Mark Twain 1835-1910

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

Confucius 551 BC-479 BC

I like you better without it.

Just a quick beard update for all you followers out there.  I think it's clear what this is all about.  It's a facial hair race.  I know, grossly overshadowed by the cold war/nuke race.  The russians developed mustache technology early on.  We couldn't let them be the first with viable facial hair weapons!  If this bad boy actually could speak for itself it would probably be very arrogant and viciously demean other sideburns and soul patches that it encountered.  Looking at the profile shot I see that there is some sideburn to chop blending needed.  It's tough keeping the goods under control sometimes.  Max knows what I'm talking about! Right! Right buddy!?  Mustache?  More like victory-stache.  We Ride!  Just a quick beard update there for ya. 

Jack White vs. the guitar

As I write this the Sounders are up by one in the snt econd half.  Not having the fox soccer channel i have listened via radio and followed a play by play blog online.  Last time we played the Crew we beat them 4-0 away, so we better clean up this game.  We haven't lost an MLS match in a month and our sounders are probably walking with a big dog swagger these days.  If the Seahawks can't do it then I guess we can count on Sounders. 
Lately I've been doing a bit of recreational running (or jogging) and it has given me time to think about things.  Useless things usually.  Nonetheless, I was jogging and listening to The White Stripes the other day and I came to the conclusion that Jack White is the greatest, most important rock artist of the last decade.  He knows no boundaries when it comes to innovation.  He makes everything he does look really cool, and that's a huge part of being an artist.  He's so cool that for the last 5 years I assumed he was British, cause that's just where the coolest rockers come from in my experience.  He's just what we needed.  In the age of 8 piece rap metal hardcore bands and engineered for marketing success boy bands Jack and Meg White emerged with the sole intent of rocking the socks off of anyone within 30 miles of there drum kit.  Do away with all the glitz and glam and just play guitar.  I always picture Jack W stalking a guitar in the woods and finally pouncing on it in an open field of long grass, one old dead tree nearby.   The guitar struggles much like a pissed off blue heron might, but Jack holds on for dear life and tames the beast into a rock machine.  When he strums the guitar you can almost hear it fighting back, protesting.  It's like Jack doesn't fully trust his guitar not to try and slit his throat so when he plays it he's constantly expecting to be attacked or bitten.  This, I think, contributes to The White Stripes sound.  This guy actually plays the thing with his feet, which is probably the same way you would want to pet a rabid badger.  No one does it like the White Stripes
Sounders won by the way.  2-1 we take the US open cup again.  bitch.

Your beard is lacking.

My beard as of 5:30 PM on Tuesday the 28th.  Kind of a let down, but it's been less than a week.  Note on the profile shot.  You can clearly see where I shaved my neck, thus turning a simple several days growth into an official beard.  It may not look like much, but it's gonna be huge.  If there's one thing I know it's beard growin.

drinking wine

breezy and i are dining at anthony's tonight, thank you winter and jason.  This has me thinking though.  Lately I have been taking discomfort in the feeling I get when I over indulge in beer and food.  It's not the drunkenness that i abhor, it's the bloated macy's day parade balloon feeling that follows.  It doesn't feel good, too hedonistic.  As a result I am contemplating cutting dairy and switching to wine as my vice of choice.  Yes, i know what you all are thinking.  "Hey Andy, why not take up cheap liquor and gambling?  Passing out in the sun, sleeping on park benches and waking up under a lonley oak tree that shed all it's leaves unseasonably soon?"  Because i don't have time thats why,  I am a responsible father and business man after all.  I don't have the time, have you seen my desk?  There is something about wine that seems to make it more dignified that beer.  You can drink as much as you want and yet it's only considered drunkenness when you lose control of your smart car and careen into a fountain.  Wine is like partying in disguise.  Oh, "I'm a wine connoisseur" is just a cool way of saying "let's get tore up from the floor up!"  Yessir, tonight I shall be drinking wine.  Only problem is i prefer reds, and that dictates red meat.  Which is filling as well.  Also, red meat is usually disappointing at a seafood place.  What a conundrum. Also dairy is on the chopping block.  Slumped over with juice people.

my lucky day.

                                                       Dear bloggity blog mcbloggerton,

The A.W.A.S.T.E is ready to
rock!

Recyclables fall into garbage can here.

 Today was a good day.  I woke up early, bout 6:30.  Made me some cheerios, which hudson stole.  Went on to cleverly make double the sausage i wanted so hudson could steal some.  Load a bunch of wood at shore drive.  Seahawks managed to win today, so that was happy times.  loaded a bunch of dirty stinky brush at erlands point, get all the rotten leaves and dog poo particles all up in my grill. scoop dog poo and find convent spot for storage of said poo.  But all this pales in comparison to my newest invention, the "all waste allocation sliding transit elevator" or for short the A.W.A.S.T.E.  Using a jig saw i cut a circle approximately 8-3/8" in diameter through the surface of my back deck.  I inserted some 8" PVC that I purchased from a local industrial plumbing supply yard.  The cut in the deck was so skillfully done that the fit was perfectly snug and reguired only one screw to secure the A.W.A.S.T.E.  The PVC pipe protrudes below the decking about 6"-12" and feeds directly into a garbage can.  Thanks to the A.W.A.S.T.E now I can walk out on my deck, through an empty beer can or broken bong directly into the recycling and not have to worry about looking at a garbage can outside my door.  Never again will I have to carry that full recycling container down those slippery, possibly deadly stairs.

Smugly, I egress the area down
this pathway with the full can.

The recyclable travels vertically down this route.

post-a-tron

pretty average week so far.  It's not really giving me any good material for this miserable blog.  what a chore this has become.  pressure to entertain and not waste your time like Hawaii 5-0 wasted mine.  often times throughout my day i see someone or something and a random thought enters my brain about it.  I think, "Hey, that's kind of a funny observation, save that for the blog."  Then all to often I will type it out, reread it and realize that I am a jerk.  I know right, I was shocked too.  But is it bad to be cynical if your right?  Maybe not.  But it's very bad to be cynical if your wrong.  Then your just an a-hole.  gotta pick those battles.

This week has been my guiltiest TV week to date.  Normally I eschew the season premier craze because I am just that cool and aloof.  This year I decided to give the networks a chance.  I knew I would enjoy 30 Rock, Modern Family, and Community, that goes without saying.  I also knew I would hate Hawaii Five-o, but like an idiot I tuned in anyway, and I want that hour of my life back.  So that's it TV, I gave one new show a chance and you let me down.  Good luck winning me back now.  One thing they all have in common is there gratuitous product placement, mostly Apple.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's so blatant that it can be disrupting.  I suppose that's effective advertising, something that bugs you enough that you think about long after the fact.  Damn you Apple!  I want your iPhone so bad and I don't know why.  I would take a big purple ford bus over an iPhone any day though.  Ann. I will split all your wood next winter. 

Cougar town!? Seriously!?

Seriously!?

How the f do these people get on TV?! i.e. Dollhouse, Hawaii five-0, and all the other new shows that are gonna be spiraling down the TV failure drain around cchristmas time. How the hell does it work? When did actors start going straight from elementary school pageant to crap tv? Makes me wanna curse.

Your beard is good.

Starting tonight I am growing a beard, and that's all there is to it. I have been challenged to a beard growing competition, and being a gentleman I accepted. I will post Photo updates at random convient intervals. Too tired to write anything witty today, lots of early mornings this week. All I know is I am gonna have one epic mustache when this is all over.

Post # 11, in which Breezy pursues her education and I feed a baby.

This post is different than all others before it in that I am not writing from my bed.  Breezy's first day of nursing school was today.  I think it went well, for me that is.  I was on full time dad duty with no back-up, no relief in sight.  In fact, as I type this I am feeding Reo a bottle of breast milk that was bottled at the source this morning.  (yes I am skilled, how nice of you to notice)  No overly large dukes to report.  I did decide to go for a run with the boys.  The gentle motion of the stroller lulled Reo to sleep and put Hudson in a sort of stoned daze.  Pushing 60 pounds of offspring and stroller into a headwind will get you in shape quick.  Plus, the possibility of two simultaneously sleeping children is enough to motivate me to run in any almost any weather.  Actually that's bull, it's still hard to motivate myself to run when it's crappy out, especially with a heavy stroller to push around.  I also did some laundry and vacuumed the house, so yeah, you could say I am a great husband.  I have to say, it was a good day. 

seahawks, puking, possessed child, and a loud angry ghost, and a parenting tip you won't want to miss!

The Seahawks dissapointed me today.  Not a big deal cuz I am not a big football follower, but come August September I do start to miss the over the top, uber-commercialized business called the NFL that traipses about the country masquerading as a sports league, branding everything that it lays eyes on.  From ball caps to bongs, you can buy just about anything you want with an NFL logo on it.  Big business, big biz.  Also another side effect of Seahawk sunday is the tummy ache one gets from a day long coffee, beer, and junk food diet.  This particular Sunday afternoon found me on the shoulder of hiway 16 barfing on a cigarette butt.  Hope I don't have the flu. 
No. 1 son decided to throw an exorcist style fit at the Habecks house today.  It got to where I had to physically restrain him while Nic fetched a priest and some holy water.  I felt bad having to yell at the little blighter like I did, but nonetheless, this brings me to parenting tip no. 2:  Don't let your toddler stay up till midnight!  I claim all responsibility for this blunder.  I thought it would be fun for him and his chum Gabe to just pass out when it was convenient.  Now I know, alright!  geez.  My wonderful little son Hudson NEEDS his beauty sleep.
And lastly, I think there is an angry, drunken ghost stumbling around my house slamming doors with no regard for the living, who are sleeping.  That or I need to close some windows.

So heroin bob was afraid of needles. 9 posts

and I'm afraid of flying. Yeah, little known fact about me. Flying in airplanes scares the daylights outa me. I guess that means that no part of me is daredevil or part angel. I'm part scaredy cat and part very darn pratical, cuz it ain't pratical for man to be flying. Possible and convient? Yes. Smart? I don't know. Scares me silly, especially during take off and landing. What's even worse is turbulence during a flight. I always think I'm about to die at least once on a flight. But hey, America can't figure out trains so watcha gonna do? I do like cocktails though, and airport bars and white russians. Remember that cuz my birthdays comin up, and I would mix you a white Russian on you day.
Switch gears, it's really rainin out there. Sounds like your basis late summer Washington rain and make things muddy and depressing sort of downpour out there. My favorite time is when it's just cold not raining. I've got a really nice down jacket and jump on any excuse to bust that bad boy out.

Parts of this post are BS

Tonight grandma cooked us some sort of indian dish with chicken and rice, so that could be anything.  It was delicious Ann.  Also Max convinced her to drink some beer, which she didn't like, so naturally she added pickled cucumbers and vinegar.  She said it was better but I don't know.  Also i've been asked to join a competitive robot (as in the dance) team that competes around the country in the American Robot League Organization, or ARLO.  They must have seen my exhibition match against Uzbekistan last spring.  Yep, word travels fast in those circles.  Only problem is that the 25-30 age group is very competitive in the states.  Not so much in Europe because everyone dances to trashy European electronica over there.  So how 'bout that.  Also, if anyone knows any good jokes, that would be good.  Let me know.

Posticure

Got a pedicure today, yep.  Then I got Thai food, so...thank you southeast Asia.  The pedicurist lady went to her kitchen and got the cheese slicer for my heels.  Lots of dead skiing on these feet.  She could have sat and sliced off 5 pounds of callus if she had wanted,  I can't imagine she wanted to though.  So, say what you will about the guy getting the pedicure, but it's basically a foot massage and toe cleaning.  I see no reason why that should be exclusive to the female gender.  No polish though, that's a no no.  Next time I need to try and find a place that serves beer and food while they cut you toe nails and massage your feet.  I will definitely be back for more of that, as long as I can ignore the fact that she probably doesn't change that pumice stone thing every time.  Also it was fun to invade the ladies club and make all the patrons uneasy.  I can see an ipod being an asset as well.  And you know what, I can't remember he last time I sat still for so long, so that's nice.  Pass on the massaging chair though.  That things worthless.  More like "get humped by a piece of furniture chair".  It's only redeeming quality is that it reclines and holds you up so a lady can sand your feet down.

6th post (in which I swear)

This being my 6th post I thought I would prepare something special., but I didn't.  This weekend we went to a little girls b-day party at Blueberry park in Bremerton.  It only rained a little.  I knew then that I am getting old because the teenagers lurking about the playground made me uneasy, at first.  Then I realized that I am ten times more intense than those punk bitches (bingo) and just stopped worrying about it.  Bet they never went salmon fishing with a 3 foot piece of rebar and a net, that's right.  That's how you catch a fish in my neighborhood son!  Not that we ever actually got one like that, but it sure turned some heads down at Chico creek.

5th post: The vomit issue

The problem with this bloggetron is that no one gives a darn about my life. I either need to start fabricating events in my life or start saying really profound stuff. I got nothing. Every day true stuff it is then. So Hudson puked about 2 gallons in bed last night at about 11. 7 whole clams and everything else his tummy chose not to digest that day. Splendid!
So, this leads us to parenting tip No. 1:
When your child yaks all all over his sheets DO NOT take them out side and flick them in the same manner you would if you were getting sand off. You WILL cover yourself with partially digested shellfish and chicken nuggets. Also, no matter how hectic the night may have been, always check that you alarm is set.
Oh and just so you know, I totally blogged this from my iPod touch, just so you know.

4th post

I meant to post something today, but instead i imported all the photos i have taken in the last 6 years of life onto the new computer.  I just spent the last hour watching 5000 photos import.  It was like watching a fast forward slide show of my life for the last 6 years.  I forgot how cool i used to be.  pics from traveling and partying and birthing of children and subsequent platter of placenta photo.  Since I bought my first and my only digital camera in Panama City i have cataloged most of my life in pixels.  I still have the first photo I took with the camera, the Panama canal.  The photos go on from there to show how i wasted the first part of my adult life when I could have been having babies and getting on with it.   I also noticed that in 20 years it will be impossible to look at pics tell our kids "thats you when you were just born" with any certainty.  Asian babies look same.  Also very cute, probably cutest ever born, but whatcha expect?  It late.  I should have been sleeping hour ago, wake up early and exercise.  Instead will probably wake up late, skip breakfast and drink coffee instead and have tummy ache around 8. Eat banana or partial bagel, drink more coffee, reflux of acid, hunger pain around 11, scrape for lunch, have sore knees, eat partial bagel, maybe english muffin with peanut butter, have sore feet, curse, stress, poop, drive home and have political or social discussion with crack d via telephone while driving (hands free, don't worry) or leave a long rambling voicemail for Smurf.  Somewhere in there my grandma will probably call me fat or something.  Thanks grandma, your particular brand of senility is scathing and hurtful.  Maybe I will exercise after all.

shaved my mustache

it was a lemmy kilmister special.  but it was only for vacation, the professional lumber and building materials (LBM) sales world isn't ready for that kind of mustache/beard.  I think my family would agree that I look better without it, however misinformed they may be.  I am feeling the after effects of a 5 peach a day diet for the last 2 days if you catch my drift, ya know what I mean?  Speaking of drift Max went to the drift inn tonight, bet he has some good stories.  cuz some dive bars are fun and cool, but some are just plain worthless.  My suspicion is that the Drift Inn falls under the latter category.  Let me know Max.

2nd post

so blogging is hard to do when you have kids, i can already tell i am going to be a sub par bloggert.  also, i am not going to waste time with capital letters. just laying down some ground rules.  i have learned to fly fish this weekend.  also sub par at this.  no fish caught yet.  many bushes have been caught. the fish are out there though, and they are hungry.  i don't really even like fish as food, or pets, but i know fly fishing makes me look really dignified and introspective. which is important to me.  also i have a new mustache.

First post.

Started blog, waiting for coolness...gosh it's already Sept. 5th.