So I'm sure you all remember my back porch where I installed my recycling opus. It seems that a rather tenacious rat named Fred Scavage has moved in and become my new neighbor. Naturally since I live near the water I feared that he was a sea rat. This would of course be bad because sea rats are known for piracy. I feared for my Spanish dubloons and trinkets. Well by now I'm sure you've guessed how this story ends. Fred and I have an understanding about out garbage/compost situation. He keeps me on my toes, and vice versa. Oh man, Fred. He's a real S.O.B. He once ate a whole moldy cantaloupe, passed out in an unmarked box van, woke up in a soggy Parisian alleyway, robbed a mime for petty cash, bribed a harbormaster, stowed away on a Hungarian steamer out of Liverpool, only to arrive back at my back porch drunk on a mixture of cocaine and peach schnapps, asking me if he could borrow a gun. Ah Fred. One hell of a guy.

not really even a blog

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth."

Lenin 1870-1924

"If there is in fact a heaven and a hell, all we know for sure is that hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix..."

Hunter S. Thompson 1939-2005

"If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt."

Dean Martin 

"At any rate, I am convinced that He [God] doesn't play dice."

Albert Einstein 1879-1955

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels.  If a man should challenge me, i would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

Mark Twain 1835-1910

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

Confucius 551 BC-479 BC

I like you better without it.

Just a quick beard update for all you followers out there.  I think it's clear what this is all about.  It's a facial hair race.  I know, grossly overshadowed by the cold war/nuke race.  The russians developed mustache technology early on.  We couldn't let them be the first with viable facial hair weapons!  If this bad boy actually could speak for itself it would probably be very arrogant and viciously demean other sideburns and soul patches that it encountered.  Looking at the profile shot I see that there is some sideburn to chop blending needed.  It's tough keeping the goods under control sometimes.  Max knows what I'm talking about! Right! Right buddy!?  Mustache?  More like victory-stache.  We Ride!  Just a quick beard update there for ya. 

Jack White vs. the guitar

As I write this the Sounders are up by one in the snt econd half.  Not having the fox soccer channel i have listened via radio and followed a play by play blog online.  Last time we played the Crew we beat them 4-0 away, so we better clean up this game.  We haven't lost an MLS match in a month and our sounders are probably walking with a big dog swagger these days.  If the Seahawks can't do it then I guess we can count on Sounders. 
Lately I've been doing a bit of recreational running (or jogging) and it has given me time to think about things.  Useless things usually.  Nonetheless, I was jogging and listening to The White Stripes the other day and I came to the conclusion that Jack White is the greatest, most important rock artist of the last decade.  He knows no boundaries when it comes to innovation.  He makes everything he does look really cool, and that's a huge part of being an artist.  He's so cool that for the last 5 years I assumed he was British, cause that's just where the coolest rockers come from in my experience.  He's just what we needed.  In the age of 8 piece rap metal hardcore bands and engineered for marketing success boy bands Jack and Meg White emerged with the sole intent of rocking the socks off of anyone within 30 miles of there drum kit.  Do away with all the glitz and glam and just play guitar.  I always picture Jack W stalking a guitar in the woods and finally pouncing on it in an open field of long grass, one old dead tree nearby.   The guitar struggles much like a pissed off blue heron might, but Jack holds on for dear life and tames the beast into a rock machine.  When he strums the guitar you can almost hear it fighting back, protesting.  It's like Jack doesn't fully trust his guitar not to try and slit his throat so when he plays it he's constantly expecting to be attacked or bitten.  This, I think, contributes to The White Stripes sound.  This guy actually plays the thing with his feet, which is probably the same way you would want to pet a rabid badger.  No one does it like the White Stripes
Sounders won by the way.  2-1 we take the US open cup again.  bitch.